The wilderness years will come. The genesis of the wilderness will come sometimes like a bolt of lightning, sometimes surreptitiously, stealthily but surely gradually sneaking up on you. If you are one of the lucky or fortunate ones and are past forty and have tried something worthwhile rather than taking the beaten down road, you have experienced it or going through the agony of it. The world passing you by, new kids on the block upsetting the incumbent and changing the world order and there you sit experienced, educated with talent far beyond what is rocking the world. It is nauseatingly reminiscent of your shot at changing the world order a few years back. You were then unabashed, energetic, cocky with a 'take no prisoners' attitude. You believed that you will change the world, make loads of riches and opposite sex would fantasize about you and envisioning a line of dames and husseys, knights and jocks vying for your attention was not far fetched.
But then it all fell apart. Market conditions, lack of funding, key executives leaving for competing firms or your small business quite not being the darling of the crowds you had fantasized it to be. Sometimes it came with the thud of a colleague through WSJ on your desk; Microsoft is going to give away Outlook for free. You remember that sinking, sick feeling in your stomach, your head swimming, you wondered if you were about to die. Here you have an engineering and marketing team selling this contact management and scheduling solution and MS will give it for free. How are you supposed to compete?
Or you just bled to death. Emotionally in terms of motivation or financially after years of subsidizing your effort through second mortgage, overloaded credit cards, forgone vacations. Hell, you even stole from your kids the basic luxuries of life. You rationalized that an austere and ascetic life style will give them character. Plus it is only a matter of time before things turn around. By Jove, I am gonna make it upto you, my little precious darlings. But then you reached the breaking point. Accounting just ceased to work, you had been spending far more than you were taking in far too long and something had to give.
It's been sometime now. You took a corporate job but the entrepreneur in you refused to die. Race horses have to run. You were never content with strolling leisurely and your daily ration. Can you block the sun with a coin? But self doubt has crept in. Times are inimical. You are caught up in a dead end job. Kids have to go to college soon and that college fund is looking pretty short. You tried playing the stock market and are sorry for it. You there well spoken, well read, smart, dedicated and persevering have been left behind the college buddy who took the steady government job. You try to reconcile that in expectation you were supposed to lose but you believed that hitting the right tail of the probability distribution was your destiny.
But it has happened to the best of us. Steve Jobs spent 15 years in wilderness before coming to Apple again. Larry Ellison, given up for adoption by her mother,went through 12 years of anonymous drudgery before Oracle took off. I know someone personally who built a fortune, gave it all back and is building it all over again.
Point is that wilderness years were statistically highly probable. You met the mathematical expectation. It is not an individual reflection on you. This is how it was supposed to turn out. Hitting the tail is rare. However, your experience and fortitude has fattened the tails of the distribution of your next venture.
Question is will you stand up and get counted.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends once more!
But then it all fell apart. Market conditions, lack of funding, key executives leaving for competing firms or your small business quite not being the darling of the crowds you had fantasized it to be. Sometimes it came with the thud of a colleague through WSJ on your desk; Microsoft is going to give away Outlook for free. You remember that sinking, sick feeling in your stomach, your head swimming, you wondered if you were about to die. Here you have an engineering and marketing team selling this contact management and scheduling solution and MS will give it for free. How are you supposed to compete?
Or you just bled to death. Emotionally in terms of motivation or financially after years of subsidizing your effort through second mortgage, overloaded credit cards, forgone vacations. Hell, you even stole from your kids the basic luxuries of life. You rationalized that an austere and ascetic life style will give them character. Plus it is only a matter of time before things turn around. By Jove, I am gonna make it upto you, my little precious darlings. But then you reached the breaking point. Accounting just ceased to work, you had been spending far more than you were taking in far too long and something had to give.
It's been sometime now. You took a corporate job but the entrepreneur in you refused to die. Race horses have to run. You were never content with strolling leisurely and your daily ration. Can you block the sun with a coin? But self doubt has crept in. Times are inimical. You are caught up in a dead end job. Kids have to go to college soon and that college fund is looking pretty short. You tried playing the stock market and are sorry for it. You there well spoken, well read, smart, dedicated and persevering have been left behind the college buddy who took the steady government job. You try to reconcile that in expectation you were supposed to lose but you believed that hitting the right tail of the probability distribution was your destiny.
But it has happened to the best of us. Steve Jobs spent 15 years in wilderness before coming to Apple again. Larry Ellison, given up for adoption by her mother,went through 12 years of anonymous drudgery before Oracle took off. I know someone personally who built a fortune, gave it all back and is building it all over again.
Point is that wilderness years were statistically highly probable. You met the mathematical expectation. It is not an individual reflection on you. This is how it was supposed to turn out. Hitting the tail is rare. However, your experience and fortitude has fattened the tails of the distribution of your next venture.
Question is will you stand up and get counted.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends once more!
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